“Hi, so sorry but I can’t make my scheduled appointment…something came up, uh, are you available next week?” is often a text I receive around the Holiday times. Everyone is so busy with their buying of presents, party planning, party going, hangover treatments, oh and not let’s forget the cold and flu season.
Putting all that aside, of course, those things are happening…but where are you putting yourself on the list. I’ve experienced that if you’re not the top on the list of priorities, then you’ll never be on the list at all. And how often do you use other people, other experiences, other, other, other, all excuses to keep you from stepping into your Highest and Best?
Here’s the skinny…this can be a volatile time. Emotions are running high, so much to do, pressure about spending on gifts, Holiday dinners, and then there’s the, “”Who’s invited, who’s not, why not, do I have to? Really?” conversations.
Well, that’s where I step in. There is a myth out there that says, “Time heals everything.” That’s hog wash. How many people do you know that have held grudges for more than a year? Five years? Twenty years? Thirty years? That’s my point. They’ve continued the arguement and sometimes the war inside their own heads. And the only person they are hurting are themselves. I’ve had people mad and angry even after the person has died. Come on…what are you getting out of that?
A few simple techniques can make the difference between having a wonderful Holiday season verses a Holiday war.
1) Get real with the issue. Are you holding back to hurt someone? It’s always you that is feeling the pain…you can’t hurt enough to make them feel it, I promise.
2) Was it really that big of an issue or did it just develop into one over time? Re-examine the incident with clarity of mind, not ego. Ego’s love to keep you seperate from others but their true agenda is to keep you small. And aren’t you tired of playing small?
3) You spot what you’ve got. Where have you acted the same way towards someone else? Listen, we all are doing the best we can with what we have. Do we make mistakes? Of course, that’s how we learn.
4) Forgive. Yes, I know. I have had to forgive many a persons for the way I was treated growing up. But this I know for a fact…I would not be the person I am, doing what I do, if they hadn’t done exactly what they did as I was making my way through this world.
5) There are no accidents! I’m sure you’ve heard this and at some point believe it. So, again, there are NO accidents. And in the bigger picture, do you know what that means? There are NO victims! Period! Get yourself out of victim mode. You’re only hurting yourself…and besides, no one wants to be around a victim. Believe me.
6) Take a deep breathe, feeling your body, aware of your surroundings, each time they come into your head. Just relax and breathe…and do that as many times as you need. It releases tension, is calming, and will get you present. Do it as many times as you need to regain your composure. This way you will respond to interactions verse react to them.
I sincerely hope this has helped as you get closer to your Holiday’s. It is my passion to help you make each and everyone of them the most joyous and fulfilling ever. We’ve all come into this world to be happy, so make the choice, you have the power, use it and smile!